Some explicit polaroids

Here’s a moral dilemma. What would you do if you came across scandalous nude photos of a friend online? A poster on /r/AskReddit seeks guidance:

Commenter lostabro33 went through something similar, made the wrong call, and got the t-shirt. His buddy turned on him because of his candidness.

Here’s mangina denial in action, courtesy of two ideologues on Manboobz (reaction to lostabro33’s post):

They totally missed the lesson, as looking into it too deeply would challenge the men as perpetrators, women as victims paradigm. Only a deranged sadomasochist would defame his friend’s wife anonymously online, then tell him about it. Here’s hoping Fecke was kidding. Also, who cares if lostabro33’s story in particular is real or not?! This stuff happens all the time.

Shoot the messenger scenario

A hypothetical story of truth and betrayal

Let’s pretend for a moment that it’s your friend’s girlfriend that is the victim of ‘revenge porn.’ There’s no denying you have an insatiable appetite for watching amateurs ride the cock carousel, but that’s beside the point. You came across naughty photos of his girl during your travels on the net, and what was seen cannot be unseen.

You’re one step away from landing into a pit of quicksand.

If you tell your buddy about the leaked personal porn floating around the internet, expect to be crucified. Also, expect your friendship to be terminated. Sure, there’s a scant possibility he’ll come to his senses after a cool off period, but don’t hold your breath.

Her justification gymnastics

The girl in the original post on /r/AskReddit pulled a stereotypical drama queen reaction. Your bro’s girlfriend’s antics won’t stray far from this template.

Somebody will need to burn for this and as the informant, you’ve marked yourself as an easy target. The guilt and shame she’s feeling will turn into anger, and all this inner turmoil will be associated with you. Like clockwork, she’ll wash her hands of all accountability, stunting her ability to recount events and possibly uncover the truth. The sentiment of violation makes it too hurtful for her to take on the role of amateur detective. You’ve committed an unforgivable act by making her feel this way. Once you’re banished, her guilt and shame will go along with you, or at least that is what she irrationally believes.

His rationalization hamster

When viewing this circumstance from a distance, men can size it up objectively (minus manginas). Put sex into the mix and their logic goes out the window. Your buddy is too close to the issue, and has too much vested interest in his girlfriend’s happiness to think clearly. You’ve made the person he cares dearest about feel like shit, and that makes you a rotten apple in his eyes too, even if this blame is entirely subconscious. His drive is to save her from her torment. The most efficient way to do that is to sacrifice his friendship with you. For this reason, he’ll be receptive when she comes up with a conspiracy theory, starring you as the scapegoat. If he’s strong, he’ll resist it. If he isn’t he’ll believe whatever saves face.

There’s an arrow in his chest. If the photos were taken when she was with another guy, a ninja star has pierced his lower calf too. Your bro is hobbling around, in complete denial of all the slutty acts she’s done in her past. His idealistic visions of her have become profaned. Rather than being faced with mental images of her sexual experiences with other men, he rejects it. The pain is too great. His most intimate encounters, in an abstract sense, have been shared with uncaring strangers.

The wrap-up

Denial is strong in both sexes. When a traumatic event exposes the realities of intimacy, they’ll white wash over uncomfortable truths as fast as their minds are able.

Here’s the take away: keep your lips shut in a sticky situation like this.

The internet gives us new problems, like ‘revenge porn,’ and it gives us new solutions. Spill the beans without revealing your identity via a throwaway e-mail account. Send an anonymous letter too if you want to be certain it isn’t written off as spam. As a couple, they’ll question the validity of the message considering the unidentified source. However, that’s their hurdle to deal with. After all, they wouldn’t question it much less if news came from you directly.