‘Fatkini’ Retina Bombings

One of the least revolting pics.

Social revolution doesn’t need to involve firing rifles at soda bottles, leafing through the Anarchist Cookbook, or marching alongside fellow degenerates holding signs emblazoned with fallacious slogans. Now all you need is your lardtastic bod, a Lane Bryant bikini and a digicam.

Dig it:

Real women have posted images of themselves in their swimwear for a ‘fatkini’ gallery as a retaliation against society’s obsession with super-slim summer bodies.

In an age where Victoria’s Secret models are viewed as an ideal, 31 women sent in their images to prove otherwise.

The whole concept makes as much sense as protesting the NBA by pitting the high school chess club against the physics club at streetball. With PC-land rules in effect, travel and double dribble would be tossed out as they are discriminatory toward marginalized, athletically-challenged participants.

Meanwhile on the blue orb not revolving around Häagen-Daz Rum Raisin and The Secret, The Mighty Dorks’ have pissed into the wind. Turns out the existence of air-ball shooting amateurs doesn’t prove the NBA needs to lower its standards.

Are these aspiring ‘fatkini’ pinups suggesting that we need token incompetents in every occupation? After all, Victoria’s Secret models specialize in maintaining the most boner-inducing figures possible. That’s not societal bias, it’s biology.

Runway models can veer towards sickly-looking, as this can happen when arty, gay men decide what an avant-garde human frame should look like. VS models are chosen for their wide sex appeal in order to sell lingerie, thus the homogeny. Quirky personal preferences in beauty certainly all can’t be satisfied when reaching mass audiences.

Who wants to see obese women in Victoria’s Secret catalogues, Elle, or DC Comics beside obese women themselves, liberal la-la land feminists and fringe chubby chasers?


These aren’t some BBW niche market rags. They’re for-profit businesses that need to cater to their core demographics and not spark nightmares.

Getting back to the Mail Online article, here’s the skinny on the circus conductor:

Gabi Gregg, a writer for xojane.com, posted a request for the images, to inspire women with similar bodies as her own (a U.S. size 18) to feel good about wearing a bikini.

Ms Gregg wrote: ‘Our culture is so obsessed with having a “beach ready bod,” that the mere idea of someone my size in a swimsuit, let alone a bikini, is shocking to most.’

She continued: ‘I know first-hand how inspiring it can be to see people with bodies that look similar to my own feeling confident and happy on the beach in something other than a Hawaiian-print skirted one piece’.

While Gabi looks presentable due to her “enormous boobs,” some of the other shots are mini terrorist attacks on the visual cortex. I refrained from posting more examples as this would be akin to leaving a flaming turd on the doorstep of my readers then ringing the doorbell.

The morbidly curious can experience the ‘fatkini’ gallery here.

Other top article on xojane.com: My Life on Antidepressants.

Get Splitsburgh sent right to your inbox.

You’ll be the first to know about new posts.
Unsubscribe at any time.


  1. Fucking puke.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  2. And Balls

    I came

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  3. FUPA

    She may have enormous boobs, but’s she’s also got a tell: you can’t see her belly button in any of the pics.

    Look at the rest of them and you’ll notice the same thing in a lot of them. Why can’t you see it? Because her giant gut is tucked into her swimsuit. If you can’t see the belly button, assume the hourglass figure is more like a shapeless blob outside the forming swimsuit.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  4. Lily

    Here’s a fascinating tidbit for Fupa: the bellybutton is found below the natural waist. That woman’s swimsuit comes to her natural waist. Covering her bellybutton. Assuming that because a strip of skin is visible it will include a bellybutton is completely fatuous.

    Also, this article misses the point of Gabi’s exercise entirely. These women are not aspiring pin ups! They are the polar opposite. Examples of every day women, enjoying fashion. This is not a carefully staged coup to rewrite societal sexual standards, it’s a way for women outside the so called standard of beauty to connect with each other and realize they are not as gross and unworthy of attention as they have been told.

    Some of the outfits in the gallery are not something I, myself, would wear (and no, I am not shaped like most of those women) but I, and you, have no right to hurl insult upon women who are only trying to empower themselves and others.

    I’m sure, in a world where only the most conventionally attractive were allowed to be seen in swimwear, most of the readers of this site would be banned from the beach, myself included. These images are shocking because we are not accustomed to them. That doesn’t make them wrong. And no, you don’t have to look, but you also don’t have to call these women flaming bags of turd. Because you know what? I’d rather spend an afternoon in the company of any of those women, wearing any of those suits, that ride twelve floors in an elevator with the kind of bigoted idiot with poor reading comprehension who wrote this mess of an article.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  5. James

    Bingo Arms and she crosses her tree trunks to deceive the camera angle. Also, the design of her top and bottom piece distort her disproportionally heavy midsection.

    This being said, there are lots of women with thick (aka fat-filled) thighs and booties who look good in a 2-piece and naked. They HAVE SHAPE and DEFINITION that resemble a female form, NOT A BEACHBALL.

    Same rule applies to FAT-ASS MEN who wear XXXL Big & Tall shirts and have goat-tees and tattoos to hide the extra chin and skin flaps. You’re not foolin’ anyone, BUBBA!

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Leave a Reply